KISMET KOMEDY KLUB ROCKS
Kismet's First Ever Professional Entertainment/Fundraiser

 Exuberant Co-chairs Joanie McKeon and Patti Romanzi

 On possibly the worst night of the season the gods of laughter smiled down on Kismet as five professional performers trekked through puddles and a ferry to an unlikely place, a firehouse on Fire Island! Co-chairs/creators Joanie McKeon and Patti Romanzi, nonplussed by the weather, were also smiling because of their insistence that tickets be paid for in advance.  "We've got it covered!" they stated in self-congratulation.

It was truly the event of the young season: Kismet's first ever professional night of entertainment and it couldn't have come at a better time because, on a bleak, rainy weekend, a few laughs were really appreciated. People played cards all day and watched sports on TV counting the hours till showtime, trying not too to drink too much so they wouldn't fall asleep during the performance (later Mike DIllon crowed "Only one lady conked out in the entire room!"). 

Residents donned monsoon gear over their finest as the rain became torrential close to curtain time.

Roz Sackler sets a fashion standard

At noon the troops came out en masse to set up after the firetrucks were moved out of the firehouse: Joanie & Joe McKeon, Gary Leone,  Lou & Patti Romanzi,  Arthur Goldstein, Peter Schlecter & Tom Sitone, Tommy Feld & Joe at the bar, Rudy Gerlich & Charlie Untracht on lighting and stage, Bryana Romanzi helped with the cheese platters and countless others volunteered their time to make this a success

Artie Goldstein and Gary Leone hawking 50/50 tickets

AT 5PM the first two of the five comedians were met at the ferry by slickered Joe & Joanie and Patti and comic/MC Mike Dillon and comedienne Lela Zappetti  were whisked to the sacred sanctuary upstairs at the firehouse. Patti had first seen Mike and some of his performers at a benefit on Long Island and immediately thought of the idea as a fundraiser in Kismet.

As the performers later said "we heard and felt upstairs the high (in many ways) energy of the crowd as they came in and we knew the people were there for a good time".

They also said that the fact that this was a community and not a haphazard gathering, as in clubs, made it easier for them to customize their acts: relative affluence, maturity  and education being factors in their choices (though an exploratory foray into politics was almost as disaster as the room was divided between Liberals and Conservatives and therefore quickly abandoned). Although all are well equipped to handle hecklers they knew that this would not be that kind of night. It was a comic's dream audience mostly 'though there were one or two tables who talked loudly during their performances, an element that most performers find distracting because they can hear what you say -and of course the young man sitting right under their noses who repeatedly illustrated how long it takes beer to go in through the mouth and travel through the system as he rudely jumped up every ten minutes to leave for the bathroom.

Mike Dillon, MC

To say there was something for everybody is an understatement. There was everything for anybody is more apt. Mike Dillon, the MC and booking agent, chose the group with care for its diversity:. "A show starts from zero as we draw them in to a steady climb to the closer". Mike started off with his Irish barroom material." My wife got me a personal trainer...now I pee on the paper! About kids "Give the gift that keeps on giving...misery!"

Mike Krazner

He was followed by the completely different style of young, Jewish  (" a guy with a great future who is already doing well " said Mike. Krazner is a landscaper with 4 years on the road)) who lapsed into a funny riff on Jewish angst during Christmas: "we can't escape this holiday, I watch a Yule log burning on TV in High Definition, what a waste of airtime", or  "Church on TV for lazy Christians - can't miss, a season premier!"  He also addressed electronic games, cell phones & text messaging: "My 9 year old nice has a cellphone - what do they talk about? "hey, can't talk, gotta go to bed" or his dad text messaging him "Happy Birthday" in the  same room! And his favorite babysitting joke: "Hi, How are the kids? Uh! I thought they were with you! "

Dr. Harry Freeman

Next up was "Dr" Harry Freeman, a 25 year seasoned pro who has been the opening act for Ray Romano. He confided, "when I am operating and I don't know what I am doing we call that 'exploratory surgery'.... In the Operating Room the music doctors choose reflects how they are doing, ending with either "He's A Magic Man" or "Stairway to Heaven". No stranger to Fire Island, he remembered being arrested for eating ice cream on the street in Ocean Beach.. "Prison has got to be ugly -'what are you in for? Armed Robbery! You? Mocha chip'". If there was a lull he said "apparently I'm making you people think too much" and closed with a pitch  "I'm selling CD's for the lap dancer I go to so she could finish high school". (incidentally, though I hate to ruin it, Harry is NOT a doctor, he is a doctor  "Impersonator" so don't run up to him with symptoms).

Lela Zapetti

Lela Zapetti is one of Mike's surefire favorites. "There has to be one female for the ladies. Its tricky for a woman in this business. She's not threatening to other women because of her appearance and she when goes "blue" (dirty) she walks a fine line". An overweight, middle aged woman in plaid pants under an orange top has GOT to be funny (or a disaster). A single mother with a house full of grown boys ("In our cookie jar we have condoms") she refers to them "if you have something and you let it go and it comes back it was meant to be, if it doesn't come back it wasn't meant to be but what if it never goes, but stays at home like a parasite and eats your food and spends your money!". She started with "Marriage is an institution... like Bellevue... we can be single and miserable or get married and wish we were dead"  (drew an immediate response from the ladies in the house). Described her marriage as "He was vicious, I was evil!", her appearance - "Some wear tutus, I wear  fourfours" and said she gave up black and navy for color - "I know I look like 200 pounds of strawberry sherbet"  which immediately endeared her to the crowd.

Mike Burton

MIke Burton, the evening's "closer", is a full time performer, supporting his wife and 3 year old as an actor, and doing commercials, but prefers standup to being reined in by a director and a script. "Its like walking a tightrope without a net". He tailored his remarks to the crowd and worked the room, opening with "If you parked by Molly Malone's your car is now a fish". His riff on Ladies Night Out hit home with Amy Wood, Marcia Hunter  & Patti Lyons. He inadvertently struck gold (or dirt) with his riff on football, starting innocuously about how wives throw a football, "I know some women who can throw a ball better than men - we call them Lesbians (a remark that once had one waiting for him the parking lot)", then, noticing Mike D'Amato's Jet shirt "Quarterbacks are coming back to the Jets - even that guy could've been a Jet - they need a quarterback!" the crowd went wild. Later he told me he had no idea D'Amato was a championship Jet until the crowd came over and kept asking him how he knew he was, and he told me he was completely shook when he asked the young couple if they were contemplating marriage and the guy (the one with the bladder problem)  boomed out an unexpected "NO" - sympathy immediately converged around the sweet girl next to him as well as Burton's's serious advice that she could do better.

Herb, Alice & Martha in rapt attention

An additional high note to the evening was when Sam Wood won the 50/50 raffle and kicked it back to the pot which brought the total up to $2000 raised for the Fire Dept, 4th of July parade and other needs to be determined. For all it was money well spent!

Joe Barbosa, Chris & Bill Jenks Sam Wood smile in approval

Pinney, Mike, Joyce and "Hun" enthralled

If you're interested in a similar event contact Mike Dillon at FunnyManMike747@AOL.com or 631-790-4046