FIRE ISLAND TIDE REFUSES TO PUBLISH APOLOGY AFTER WRITER ANTAGONIZES TOWN

The Fire Island Tide has refused to publish the attached apology (which I
wrote regarding my column in the May 23 edition) after initially telling me
that it would do so.

I first learned that the Tide wanted a new Kismet columnist through Greg
Pecoraro. I told Greg that I didn't think I was an appropriate writer for
the position. I was later approached directly by the paper, and told them
that I didn't think I could stack up to Jeannie Lieberman. I was told in
response, "We could just run a different page of your website each time."
This gave me the impression that the Tide wanted to go in a different
direction with this column. As an inducement, the Tide offered to run a
display ad for my book.

The Tide edited the May 23 column, including an entire deletion of its first
paragraphs, which praised Jeannie. I also poked a lot of fun at myself in
those paragraphs, setting the comedic stage for the satire that followed.
The Tide did not show me their edit before publishing it.

(I would have included a link to that column, but the Tide does not appear
to have a website...)

As I have a limited number of Kismet e-mails, I would greatly appreciate you
forwarding this e-mail and its attachment to your Kismet contacts. (My
apologies to anyone who receives this more than once...)

Thank you for your help in communicating these thoughts.

Sincerely,

John Blesso
www.JohnBlesso.com <http://www.johnblesso.com/>
 
In my maiden voyage as the Fire Island Tide columnist for Kismet two weeks ago, I set out to introduce myself to Kismet readers by writing in a “funny” way about some of the things that I love about our community. Unfortunately, the piece was edited without my approval, including a cut of its first paragraphs, which established its comic tone. What I intended as comedic exaggeration was read by many people literally, and I want to apologize for what I wrote in that column. I’ve spoken with many of you and I know that your feelings are raw and real and for that I am deeply sorry.
          Those familiar with my website, or who have flipped through my book, are probably aware that satire and exaggeration are my stock-in-trade. You are also probably aware of my deep affection for Fire Island in general, and Kismet in particular. Have you ever told a joke that ended up insulting someone you care about? Well, that’s the beginning and the end of what happened. I presumed, wrongly, that readers would understand that my tongue was firmly planted in cheek, and that I didn’t mean to imply that the entire town is perpetually wasted any more than I thought anyone would believe that we are a town full of deer whisperers. Obviously, I couldn’t have been more wrong about how that attempt at humor might be received.
          Someone in town told me that the column reminded her of what she referred to as Kismet’s “bad old days.” I admittedly lack an appreciation for those days because I didn’t come to Kismet until 2003. So while I don’t have those days in my rearview, I’ve since been made to understand how much so many people don’t want to go back to them, or be reminded of them.
The five years that I’ve spent in Kismet probably seems like a short time to people who’ve been here for forty. Still, it’s long enough to have witnessed significant positive changes. My own block is a solid example. Of the six houses in my line, five of them have been either renovated, are currently being renovated, or have been improved. (The other one, Ocean View, already looked great.) Everyone agrees that our walks are much cleaner, while our new sidewalks have literally transformed the look of the town. Since 2003, home sales and rental prices have risen considerably and more and more people—including families—want to come to Kismet for its strong, safe and diverse community. From that perspective, I see Kismet as a flourishing town with a lot of momentum. Nevertheless, it was a HUGE mistake that I did not instead write about those positive developments.
It was further poor judgment on my part to try to define our town in any way—even comically—because Kismet means different things to all of us. Still, I would like to tell you what Kismet means to me: I think we are a throwback to a time before life became unnecessarily complicated. I love that about Kismet and I’m proud that we are that way. I think that we enjoy life and each other’s company, and that we like meeting and interacting with people from different walks of life. Life is easy in Kismet. If you want to drop by one of the bars or a friend’s house, you don’t need to shave, or press a linen shirt, or even be invited. You just go as you are and go with it. That Kismet continues to change for the better, without becoming unbearably pretentious says a lot about who we are and what we value.
 

*        *        *

My honest belief in the strength of Kismet was realized last summer. After reading about critical shortages in our blood banks, I thought it would be a good idea to organize a blood drive. Despite some initial resistance, I was encouraged when the blood drive was ultimately approved; unfortunately, the Blood Center had to call it off due to fears over ticks. Still, I would have never tried to spearhead a blood drive if I didn’t know that Kismet was the kind of community where, once the call went out, people would roll up their sleeves. I know this for a fact because some of you have dropped what you were doing to help me during critical moments, and I remain grateful and indebted for those extraordinary efforts.
 

*        *        *

I felt the full wrath of some when I presented myself at the last meeting of the Kismet Community Association. One upset gentleman—who thought the column was a cynical attempt at self-promotion—stood up, holding the paper in his hand. “This isn’t true,” he emphatically said. “It’s sensationalism.” While he didn’t get the joke, I at least took heart in his conviction that it wasn’t true, because it wasn’t meant to be true, or a literal representation of our town. (One man’s sensationalism is another man’s comic exaggeration.) I also appreciated how that gentleman more civilly communicated his offense and disapproval toward me.
I think part of the Kismet way of life is that we can have differences (in style, beliefs, lifestyle) yet we still treat each other with respect, and I understand that many of you read in that column a lack of respect for the town and its residents. I fully understand how this has angered you, and I hope you believe me when I tell you that I’m feeling it, and it doesn’t feel good. I feel especially bad for anyone who believes that I have done irreparable harm to our town. While it may not be for me to say, especially now, I’m not sure that anyone could write something that would irreparably harm such a large, thriving community. Last year, the New York Times ran a graphic story about a police brutality and corruption scandal in another Fire Island town. With all due respect to the Fire Island Tide, the New York Times has a somewhat larger readership, and yet people still flock to that town despite that disturbing (and true) story.
Yet other people believe that I’ve damaged property values and compromised our security by mentioning a popular key-hiding spot. Admittedly, I never imagined that criminals on the mainland might be reading the Fire Island Tide. I was trying to illustrate that Kismet is an old-school, open and SAFE community. People in Kismet look out for one another—from our deliveries on the dock, to neighboring children, to our houses when we’re not there. While such vigilance and community oversight does not promote a burglar’s paradise, it would have been better had I not mentioned this.
While I’ve found myself on the receiving end of a lot of well-deserved grief, I would also like to thank those of you who have contacted me to say that you got the joke—despite the edit—and enjoyed the piece as comedic satire. For those of you to whom I haven’t yet spoken to personally, please do not hesitate to call (6074) or e-mail (John@JohnBlesso.com) or just stop me on the walk. I would really like the opportunity to respectfully listen to what you have to say. Still, I accept that some of you may remain upset with me, but I hope you’ll ultimately understand just how much I love and value our unique community.
 
John Blesso