11th ANNUAL DOCTORS FUND BENEFIT:
DAMES, DAMSELS & DUMB BLONDES
presented by Meryl Factorman & Lois McIntosh in Association with the Arts Project of Cherry Grove
photos by Gillian Crosson
article by Jeannie Lieberman
Directorial genius Donald LaBohn once again conceived his annual phantasmagorical tribute to his favorite subject: over the top, out of this world WOMEN and, this year especially, their power over men! And, in the unique schizoid world of his imagination, he should know. What a stellar assembly of gents, ladies & tramps he gathered, some out of retirement, some brand new, each out of personal expense of time and money (did you know they pay for their costumes, wigs etc?) to deliver his vision of the best.
It certainly paid off as you will see in this photographic journey of glorious memories:
Even the ushers are glamourous as they lead you into the terrific terrain
that is the Annual Doctors Fund extravaganza
A blessing from the ubiquitous Homecoming Queen Lola makes the journey official
RED HOT , BLUE & GREEN MAMAS
gum chewing gussied up & garlanded
(some a little bored?) showgirls open it up
Hanky, Panky, Spanky: Blond dominatrix Urban Sprawl, despite her angelic blond curls, sang "Treat Me Like I'm A Bad Girl" tortured sexy stagehand Bobby Ferri until she got what she wanted - a good spanking!
The Dreamgirls : Lola and her...
back-up nappy headed Ho's Coco Love & cock-eyed Ann Phetamine
sang "I Need a Man to Make My Dreams Come True" - good luck!!!
Doin' it for some Dame ("Guys & Dolls") Joanne, Doreen & Bobbie
brought the house down - was it gals lip synching to guys voices?
Gary laments: "She s Not Thinking of me!" (from Gigi) as Luisa loudly and longly flirts through the number with the hapless Dan and the world in general
Hey, Big Spender - Donna is trying to pick up Roger (where is her hand?)
obviously great expectations but..........he walked off with his purse!
(now you now how I feel in the Grove)
Evan terrifically sang tongue-twister "If" to blase Dan
to its ultimate conclusion
ALL I NEED NOW IS THE GIRL
Doreen & Bobbie
in some tricky terrific terpsichore
A segment that had our gals lipsynching in foreign languages (and no one cheated)
Louisa (and her mischeivous puppets) learned Portugese for Mama Quero in a brilliant number
Coco Love learned French for her Piaf song
but there were those pesky puppets again!!!
the Shapiros reprised their sensational staple
Rumania, Rumania in Rumanian (kidding), haute Yiddish
Made the Barry Sisters proud
Bobbie, Doreen, Joanne, Joan in another show stopper:
There is Nothing Like A Dame!!!! (even these)
Charity borrowed my theme song: I'm Living Alone & I Like It
And combined it with red hot Some of These Days
Rob, Gary & Dan showing their tools to get lucky with
Whip wielding, booty shakin' Ann Phetamine sang RESPECT and pulled the hapless but resistant Tony Bondi out of his chair onstage and tried to dominate him
Shirley, Donna Piranha & Sylvia sang PERSONALITY in black sheathes and long red scarves (Donna??? Where's yours?) in smashing unison
a picture perfect ascot-ed, smoking jacket-ed Joan Van Ness as Henry Higgins hopelessly clinging to bachelorhood
Dan the Piano Man wrote a special homage to Grove icons
with Cobra's help - targeting....
I'm The Kind of Guy Who Loves Every Kind of Dame
I'm the kinda Guy who loves every Kinda Dame
I'm the kinda Guy who loves to flirt and play the game
And I 'm certain when I'm flirtin' I ain't hurtin nobody's name
I like to come to The Grove and sip some salty Margaritas
Then it's fun to try and pick up some sexy Senoritas
You know the kind with the oversized boobs and the tucked away peters
They come out from the ghettos in their big stilettos
They walk like a lummox, and they like it on their stomachs
Don't you think it's weird that these broads can grow a beard?
But I like em' alot 'cause they're really hot
I met a girl named Pansy.and I'd say she's rather Queer
She likes to play "Hide the Gerbil" just like Richard Gere
And now I caught her in the Meatrack doing rude things to a deer
She said "keep it movin all you stupid schmucks
I came to The Grove to blow a couple of bucks
I know a very bright Gal named Jacqueline Jonee
When it comes to using eloquent words, she knows just what to say
Jacqueline has big vocabulary
For someone with a very small dictionary
Lola is the latest in The Homecoming Propoganda
All the headlines read is she's The Grove's own Carmen Miranda
But they don't ask her to speak cause it's impossible to understand her
Lola sneaked across the border and that's a fact
And the first thing she asked is Donde es ta el Meatrack?
There's a sexy little vixen that goes by the name of Donna
She seduces her men dressed in gowns by Dolce and Gabanna
That's how she reeled in Roger..she's a real piranha
Donna changes men like her wigs and gowns
Which is why she no longer has her "Upson Downs."
Cobra comes on stage with those curly locks
You know she stuffs her bra with Victor's underwear and socks!
The Shapiro Sisters are a couple of Yiddish "Goils"
And these Goils made most of their money moonlighting as Moils
And at each and every Briss they come prepped with their scissors and poils
Now Shirley always gets paid by the snip
While Sylvia prefers to just keep the tip
Charity really loves men. she's quite a stalker
Especially for ones like Jack Daniels and Johnny Walker
And She can hustle a drink from any guy.she is quite a talker
She also dates women.and I heard she scored
She said She got herself a date with Betty Ford
Meryl, I'll say, has really changed a lot over the years
With Lyposuction and construction from her ass up to her ears
And after spending lots of loot she looks a lot like Brittany Spears
Now her skins so tight when she tries to grin
Her panties lift up right over her chin
I remember the day I met a real live girl named Jeanne
She was the cutest little red head that I had ever seen
I offered Jeanne a drink...and in a flash
She said I think I 'll have a vodka with a splash
I'm the kinda guy who loves any Kinda Dame
And I'm the kinda guy who loves to flirt and play the game
Now before we close the curtain.I most certainly proclaim
If a frame.of a dame.isn't lame.then I'm game
For some shame shame shame
When I got to Cherry Grove I drove myself right out of my mind
I met every kinda woman and they all loved to be wined and dined
But the girls in Cherry Grove only take it from behind
I like to come to The Grove, where the grass is always greener
And these unusual girls always sport their nice demeanor
And my life is like a picnic if they offer me their buns and wiener
Come on out Cobra.and strut your stuff
Something in her dress smells like it spoiled
I think a pair of Victor's shorts are soiled
There's a girl I met by the name of Val Perez
Rumor has it she might be bit of a Lez
At least that's what her Girlfriend Evelyn says
They've got some naked pictures of Anna Nicole
And can't stop lookin' at Anna's HOLD ON A MINUTE!
I was walking through the woods and I happened to see Matt Baney
It was dark but it looked like he was holding something that was veiny
And from what I could see Matt can shoot better than Dick Cheney
Matt's bipartisan.but I don't like to push
I know he likes Dick and he doesn't like Bush
I met a busty game show broad by the name of Gusty
I said I trust that you must know I'm feelin' a little lusty
But when it comes to Goosing women from behind.I'm a little rusty
When I lifted up her dress.I heard that game show lingo
I grabbed her behind ..and she yelled out BINGO
Really & Truly spectacular!
And, at last, Curtain calls and flowers.........
Cobra deserves special for mincing, flirting & stalling across the stage (so the sets could be changed behind the curtain)
exultation well deserved
I have some people to thank.....
Lois & Meryl, whose brainchild the show is, Joanne, to make sure the cocmmunity has a doctor this season, Evan, he may be Jewish but he is a saint, CeeJay ROsen and the Board, Matt McMillan and Sherri Rase, Joanne Tavis, President of the Elmer A. Lindsay Memorial Center and "the army that goes into producing this show" -: Light & Sound - Matt Baney, Allison Brockman, Michael Romanelli, Stage Manager - Arthur Cohen, Stage Crew - Peg Ryan, Jane Haber, Sets & Props- Harold Seeley, Luis Valentine, Gary Greene, Hairstyles & Makeup - Richard Cooley., Special Material written & Performed y Dan Daly, Video Bradshaw Smith,Ticket sales Jane Haber, Tim Webster, Ushers - Gimmi & Marianne Hoffa, Theater curator Denise Dell Harbin, Video - Bradshaw Smith , Programs & Tickets Bobby Ferri, and, my favorite, Custodial Goddess - Luisa Verde (only in the Grove, folks
Oh, dahling, so glad you enjoyed it....I .have some ideas for next year I think you'll like......